By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
