YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
