ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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