burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
