I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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