so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
