erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
