I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He passed out mid-signature
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
