She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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