I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can't turn off my feet"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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