im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
