I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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