You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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