finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize