i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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