I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
