At least make sure they are 18
Why
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize