Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
