I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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