Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
