***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
