I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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