do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize