You can't motorboat a personality
That's when you crack a 10am beer
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Randomize