Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
