Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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