I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
