Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
