SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
there's paper in my vomit.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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