I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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