You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
