I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
