That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
