her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
