A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
