Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
