Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize