I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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