let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize