Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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