"it" just moved
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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