Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
