My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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