so that wasnt chicken after all
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
