Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
