I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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