Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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