And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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