You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
