i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
