I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Your cock deserves a montage
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
