Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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