I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
