i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
