Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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