What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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