How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
