He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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