We're like a lot better than the average bears
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
