ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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