I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
