In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We need to get me chipped asap
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
