why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize