I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
